This weekend was something truly amazing for me. I went to MInneapolis as I usually do but there was a strange shift in my experience. Honestly, usually I am quite nervous as well as anxious always worried that things may go sour. However, as of late, I started seeing a hypnotist. Let me back up by saying that I have been practicing self hypnosis for a little over a year. Let me back up further by stating that I saw “The Secret” back in 2006 and since that time, I came onto this path of quantum physics. Well actually my first encounter with quantum physics was when I saw the movie “What the bleep do we know?” That was a few years prior to the release of “The Secret”. Although I was fascinated by WTBDWK, I really didn’t take too much action to practice the principles behind the theory. Then one day out of the blue, I had an urge to learn more about it as it was always in the back of my mind. I googled “quantum physics movies” and up comes “The Secret”. So I clicked on the website and watched the streaming video of the movie. I was so fascinated by it, I made my entire family watch it. I went and bought the video and made my friends watch it. I was a Secret groupie. Then I wanted to practice the law of attraction and I tried. Oh believe me I tried. I was in a terrible state of depression, combined with a miserable outlook on life, hated the city I lived in, hated my career, and was never meeting the right man. So off I went to the store and became somewhat of a journal junkie. I bought every kind of journal you can imagine. Luckily for me, many of them were on sale at the local Border’s or Barnes and Noble so it didn’t put me on the streets. I bought the journals in anticipation of writing the positive affirmations such as “I am appreciative that…..(I am driving a Ferrari, I have a big diamond ring, I own a yacht, etc.) Then came the visual board. Well let me tell you, my first visual board had everything you could possibly imagine on it from children to blood diamonds. I had so many pictures cut out from magazines and pasted overlapping each other that you couldn’t see even a millimeter of the actual board.  I hung it up on the wall in my bedroom so that when I would wake up it was the first thing I would see. It started to make me dizzy.  The real issue was that it really didn’t make me believe that I would have those things. Then a few months later after looking at the board, I realized that I wasn’t even sure of what I wanted.  So I decided to take it all apart and start with new pictures.  This time I would do it right.  This time I would streamline my desires and try to hone in on what I truly wanted.  So I cut out only five things and put them in their own little zones.  This helped me to clear my mind a great deal but I still didn’t believe what I was journaling.  I was writing stuff down but it didn’t sink in.  My mind was always somewhere else.  Enter self hypnosis.  As usual, I was just a self help junkie that kept researching different ways to improve my life.  I didn’t what was going to help me but one thing was always consistent….I always knew the secret was hidden inside my brain.  I knew that the almighty organ was more powerful than anything out there.  Just look at the evolution of our lives and inventions.  We have invented the wheel, electricity, telephone, airplanes, the internet, built pyramids, gone to the Moon and Mars, built skyscrapers, and jolted technology beyond our imaginations.  I always knew that my brain had to hold some power to just change my mediocre life. I just didn’t know how.  So once again, I searched for brain altering therapies and came up with self hypnosis. After searching for different self hypnosis sites and researching them, I downloaded various self hypnosis MP3’s to my Ipod and off to bed I went.  At first, I felt my body fall into a trance but I still didn’t feel that connected with the hypnosis.  Then after a few months of listening to the self hypnosis, I did feel little changes but noticed I still had one underlying condition that I couldn’t fix and it was my negative thinking and constant anxiety about everything in my life.  Then came the real breakthrough that led to the opening of my heart.  I was having one of many conversations with my sister about the constant state of my neurosis and she pointed it out.  She told me that even though I was doing all of these things, including the positive affirmation journaling and the self hypnosis, there was definitely some block that was holding me back.  Don’t get me wrong, even my sister had noticed the changes in my life and she should know given that she has been in my life for 33 straight years and seen me through every crisis I ever went through.  However, she said that one thing which had not changed is my negativity.  That’s when it hit me like a ton of bricks.  I had to go back to the drawing board again….or in my case, my computer and good old google.

I decided that I would need professional help after all in trying to “unblock” this negative pattern.  I didn’t even know where to start.  The idea of going to a “hypnotist” just seemed cheesy and brought to mind hustlers trying to make a fast buck while preying on the weak.  But I wasn’t weak, no sir I was a lioness that had gone through plenty of my own hell as well as the hell of all my close friends. So on went the search.  I didn’t want to see a traditional psychologist because I already knew what was wrong with me.  I had already diagnosed myself of brain malfunction and I just needed some reprogramming.  So it was very important to me to find someone who really believed in the same things.

It was funny because I didn’t even know where to look but I typed in hypnotist chicago and came up with several people.  Now, how does one decipher between a good hypnotist and a bad one?  Who do you ask?  You can’t be caught asking your neighbor, or coworkers…they all think I am crazy as it is.  I don’t need to advertise that I have really fallen off the deep end.  So after some digging, I found that there are board certified hypnotists out there.  So after all my digging, I decided on a gentleman named Marc St. Camille.  I called his number and left a message and he called me back a few hours later and asked me what my problem was.  I told him that my major issue was negative thinking and anxiety about my relationship, work, etc.  Anxiety along with the notion that I was living in someone else’s body (i.e. hating my life) was really wearing me down.  I asked him for an emergency session that night.  He told me he was booked into the evening and wouldn’t have an appointment until 10pm.  I said I was fine with that and I really needed to get some help in fear of sabotaging even the good things in my life, namely my relationship.  He agreed to meet with me at 10pm.

When I went to see Marc, I have to admit I was a bit withdrawn at first given that my nature is to be untrusting.  But soon after we started to converse, I felt very comfortable with him and really felt he knew where I was coming from.  It was almost strange talking to someone who understood what I was trying to get across to that extent. After 40 minutes of note taking, Marc explained to me that he wanted me to practice 2 things, one was the hypnosis session which was going to be recorded on a cd.  He wanted me to listen to that every night.  The other was meditation twice a day.  He said that it would be a commitment but it was the only way for the “reprogramming” to take effect.  The explanation given was simple but got the point across.

He said that we have to meditate to quiet our minds and make room for the reprogramming.  That was it!!! That was the missing link in the equation!  I started to meditate and it was hard!  At first I couldn’t even do it.  Then at the second session with Marc, he gave me a cd which was a guided meditation which opened my heart to meditation..... Since then I have used many guided meditations as well as meditating on my own. Thank you Marc!